To start 2011 off right I thought to put together my 2010 achievements and lessons learned together. Something to give me hope, to nudge me forward, in my search for...I don't know what. Maybe by the time I've put this list together I'll have seen a pattern. This list is off the cuff.
(+) = Achievement
(*) = Lesson Learned / Will find time to refocus in 2011 and get better at it.
+ Organized and decorated my sanctuary/craft room/den/office.
+ Had two lovely out-of-country guests.
* Got frustrated with writing and stopped.
+/* Started having dreams and nightmares again.
+ Hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas at our house.
+ Practiced Yoga for 3-6 days a week for about 7 weeks straight.
+ Realized that the reason I love Yoga is that it is all about me, for me, and that is OK.
+/* Started working with the body that I have rather than planning to work with the body I want.
* Made excuses to not practice Yoga at least every other day.
+ Meditated more regularly
+Read and loved Judith Lasater's Living Your Yoga
+ Learned the concept of self compassion.
* Did not practice self compassion for long.
+ Restarted my practice
* Stopped my practice shortly thereafter with more excuses
+Picked up knitting again and completed 5 hats, 1 scarf.
+Crocheted one very large couch blanket for snuggling
+ Failed to mail said blanket in December as a gift.
+Decided to apply to an MSW program to get out of my rut and start working towards what I want in life rather than settling for what I have. ( I want to be a professor at a university.)
+Walked my dog about 10 or so times
* Got freaked out by psychodog and her drunker owner
* Let fear of psychodog and not knowing how to fend her off stop me from walking my dog ( I wonder if Tazers work on dogs)
* Made more lame excuses not to walk my dog ( thank god I have a husband who walks her!)
* Criticized other dog owners for tying their dogs out and not walking them.
+ Realized I was being a big fat hypocrite.
+ Had a good cry.
+ Dental Health is on track
+ Flossing is now routine ( I still hate it)
+ Saved enough money to take a wonderful trip back east in November, met some amazingly good people, and spent some time with one of my best friends ever.
+ Decided it is time for a change
* Continued to smoke cigarettes
+ Barely drank at all.
+ Made a delicious Cornbread stuffing in the crock pot of all places.
+ Allowed myself to be uncomfortable and survived.
* Allowed my depression to affect my work performance.
+ Ordered a wonderful Hiking Book for my husband and bookmarked the trails I think we would enjoy.
+ Stood up for myself even if I spoke a little too loudly, baldly, and said things that other people just did not want to face.
+ Taught relaxation techniques to Substance Abusers who still request it 2x a week.
* Still talking about that Mountain Bike I crave to own and ride ( god I love biking)
+ Managed to put a little more trust into my father.
* Didn't see my mom often enough.
* Realized that children may not be in the cards for me and my husband.
+ Stuck to my guns about not taking hormones to try and get pregnant.
+ Ate more veggies
+ Saw several movies at the theaters with my husband O and our friends Beth and Sean who have moved far far away.
+ Realized not all Indian food is good.
+ Became much more confident in my knitting.
* Didn't see enough live music
+ Made really good chili
+ Made treats for Christmas but not too many.
* Didn't take enough pictures.
*Didn't make enough phone calls to people I care about.
+ Held my tongue
+ was impulse impaired a few times less than 2009.
+ Addressed issues in a more adult way.
+ Continued to strive toward Child-like versus Child-ish.
* Did not get any bodywork.
* Did not give any bodywork to humans.
* Did not get more than one pedicure.
+ Continued to be a person who does not share other peoples secrets.
+ Enjoyed Playtime with Em
+/* Still not sure how marriage works and sometimes feel like we're headed in different directions.
At the start of the list I felt like I was flogging myself, but then realized that while another year has passed I am still alive, breathing, taking in sustenance, and able to make changes. To make them slowly, subtly, will be the key. And so as 2011 gets moving I have plenty of opportunity to move forward and make the slow changes that are required to make me happier , more at peace with myself, and with others.